Joseph, you've just lost your partner and closest friend. I should concern myself with anyone losing someone like that, however stalwart he might be. Are you at home?
[ Because he is getting tea and company whether he wants it or not. ]
[There's no response for several minutes, then a knock at Joseph's door. Monty's well aware of a weaseling attempt when he sees one. Joseph and Sebastian hardly live far, and it's easier just to walk over than bicker back and forth until the other man picks up and leaves.
When the door opens, Monty will be holding a full tea set on a platter.]
Joseph opens the door and meets Monty's gaze with as stoic a look as he can. It doesn't take an extremely observant person to know something's wrong. An observant person, though, will be able to spot the particulars-- his weariness, his lack of energy, the dark circles under his eyes, the redness of his eyes behind his glasses.
He does sense there's little point in fighting it, so he nods and opens the door to let Monty in.
The detectives' house is cluttered with a variety of supplies, weapons and ammunition. A red hawk-like bird sits on a perch in the living room, curiously examining the newcomer as Joseph clears off a spot on the table by stacking up some papers.
He doesn't say anything but invites Monty to sit.]
[Monty steps in and carries his tray over to the table, setting it down and beginning to arrange the various cups and dishes. The hawk receives a confused and curious look right back, but Monty doesn't comment on it for the moment.]
How do you take your tea, sir? [Monty's demeanor isn't so much servile as it is avuncular and firm. He's more than a decade behind Joseph, but he's lost someone dear to him from his own world, as well. He can at least guess at what's going through the man's head.]
[One lump of sugar and a dash of cream go in after Monty pours the tea. He passes the cup on a saucer over to Joseph before pouring himself a cup straight and sitting down across from the other man.]
Will speaking of it help, or would you prefer I talk about other matters?
[He takes the tea and sets the saucer in front of him, though doesn't drink it yet. He spends another moment silently staring at the surface of the liquid in the cup.]
I beg your pardon, Joseph, did you lose the capacity for human emotion while I was minding other matters? [It's a bit snippish, but it's said with a sigh rather than a sneer.] You are a stoic gentleman, sir. You are a detective who's seen far more horror and hardship than any man should. I find it a comfort that you still find it in yourself to grieve as any other person might.
We'll get him back. We'll do everything we can to get him and Detective Kidman back, but you've lost them, and that's something you're allowed to feel. Whether you should need it or not, I'm here to offer that reassurance. And anything else you might need. I'd like to think we're friends.
[Friends who manipulate and occasionally snipe at one another about what's 'moral,' but certainly friends at this point.]
[That remark gets a withering look from him, and Joseph folds his arms and rests them on the table.]
We don't have the time or the luxury to fall apart on the job. [One could point out that this isn't a "job" at all, but when Joseph copes by throwing himself into his work, he throws himself in all the way.]
I can't let it get to me. People are depending on me. Sebastian is- was- depending on me.
[He reaches up briefly and adjusts his glasses with a palm. Or it's a strategic move to cover his eyes. Hard to tell.]
We have nothing but time, sir. The world has already fallen apart. It will continue to be as such a few more days while you take a moment for yourself. How effective do you imagine you'll be if you don't take a moment?
[It's absolutely hypocritical for Monty to be offering this advice when keeping a stiff upper lip is his typical tactic, as well.]
I'm not sure you'll remember it, but I drank myself to sleep the day I discovered my Sib- Ms. Hallward had disappeared. She was my very best friend from back home. [And quite a bit more, but Monty knows his letter had been telling on that front.] We pick up and we move on, certainly, but there has to be a moment we're allowed to fall apart.
[He reaches across the table tentatively to touch his fingers to one of Joseph's arms. There's nothing particularly sensual in it, just trying to offer comfort.]
It's all right. I promise there are other people to take over for a moment. You've made certain of that with all you've done.
[It's all very sensible advice, really. Joseph knows he's not a robot (despite what some of those rumors at the KCPD said) and any reasonable person would do the same in his situation. He'd never judge another person for taking a moment for themselves.
Though it's never been easy for Joseph to apply the reasoning he'd use on another person for himself.
When he finally responds, it's very quietly and sounds almost like a confession.]
If I fall apart, I don't know if I'll be able to pick up again.
You will always have my hand to raise you up if you need to take it, Joseph. [All the better to pull him in the direction Monty would prefer.
No.
No, he's not trying to be calculating about this. It's just a kindness. A simple kindness from one friend to another. Turning that part of himself off is a little more challenging than Monty would have thought.]
And I'm very good at puzzles if you need someone to help put the pieces back together. What do you need right now? Not what you should need. What do you need and want? Ms. Oswald? Someone else? I can go and fetch them if I'm not the person you want to talk to. But you should be with someone, Joseph.
I don't know what I need. I don't know what to do.
[W O W, Monty. Thankfully Joseph can't read minds. And given the circumstances, he's completely off-kilter as far as his usual intuition for people and their motives. Especially Monty's.
The contact is appreciated, since Joseph hasn't gone anywhere near anyone else since it became obvious Sebastian wasn't coming back. But he's not meeting Monty's eyes, still staring at the table. Still hasn't touched his tea, either.]
I know what I should be doing. What I should be able to do. I just don't know if I'll be able to.
[It's odd to make a gesture with the bird staring at them, but Monty tries to ignore it.]
Would it be easier if I told you what to do?
[He can remember Cecil taking control, Jack taking control, had helped him when he'd been a terribly tight place. But he recalls that Joseph had wanted to be in control after coming out of a desperately terrible situation before.]
[You could have fooled him, Joseph, with the red-rimmed eyes.]
That's good.
[Right. There go two of his ideas to help and soothe. Soothing. Tea is soothing. What else? Monty looks down at where his hand is on Joseph. A massage? Yes. Perhaps? Touch, at least.]
Have you ever had a massage before?
[With as uptight as Joseph usually is... it's questionable.]
[From Sebastian. He's not about to say that, though.
The hand on his arm is good, at least, just a little bit of an anchor to tether him back to a world it constantly feels like he's being dragged away from. A world that did drag Sebastian away, somehow. The most stubborn person in the universe, and he couldn't stand up to a crumbled reality.
What chance did Joseph stand, then?
Ugh. Time to push that thought away and stamp it down as hard as he can.]
Not right now, though. Thank you. I just need- another voice, I think.
All right. [He's not going to press on anything Joseph knows he doesn't want. Another topic, then. Monty glances around the room for inspiration.] Is that what hatched from your egg?
[He'll be a little surprised if it is. He would have thought a snake for a serpent like Sophia.]
Rodan... it's a good name. [Strong and simple. It was strange to think he ate delusions, but at least this made for a place where the bird would never go hungry.]
Perhaps it's silly to ask, but I don't suppose he can speak? Or understand speech like the bookworms do, at least?
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I'm fine. Please don't concern yourself with me. It's nothing I can't handle.
[Questionable. Really, really questionable.]
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[ Because he is getting tea and company whether he wants it or not. ]
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Yes. Though I should be at the depot, working. I should head there soon.
[Not an attempt to weasel out of Monty coming to see him... honest...]
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When the door opens, Monty will be holding a full tea set on a platter.]
Good afternoon, sir.
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Joseph opens the door and meets Monty's gaze with as stoic a look as he can. It doesn't take an extremely observant person to know something's wrong. An observant person, though, will be able to spot the particulars-- his weariness, his lack of energy, the dark circles under his eyes, the redness of his eyes behind his glasses.
He does sense there's little point in fighting it, so he nods and opens the door to let Monty in.
The detectives' house is cluttered with a variety of supplies, weapons and ammunition. A red hawk-like bird sits on a perch in the living room, curiously examining the newcomer as Joseph clears off a spot on the table by stacking up some papers.
He doesn't say anything but invites Monty to sit.]
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How do you take your tea, sir? [Monty's demeanor isn't so much servile as it is avuncular and firm. He's more than a decade behind Joseph, but he's lost someone dear to him from his own world, as well. He can at least guess at what's going through the man's head.]
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Black tea? One cream, one sugar, please.
[Then he waits.]
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Will speaking of it help, or would you prefer I talk about other matters?
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[He takes the tea and sets the saucer in front of him, though doesn't drink it yet. He spends another moment silently staring at the surface of the liquid in the cup.]
I shouldn't need to be reassured.
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We'll get him back. We'll do everything we can to get him and Detective Kidman back, but you've lost them, and that's something you're allowed to feel. Whether you should need it or not, I'm here to offer that reassurance. And anything else you might need. I'd like to think we're friends.
[Friends who manipulate and occasionally snipe at one another about what's 'moral,' but certainly friends at this point.]
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We don't have the time or the luxury to fall apart on the job. [One could point out that this isn't a "job" at all, but when Joseph copes by throwing himself into his work, he throws himself in all the way.]
I can't let it get to me. People are depending on me. Sebastian is- was- depending on me.
[He reaches up briefly and adjusts his glasses with a palm. Or it's a strategic move to cover his eyes. Hard to tell.]
Christ.
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[It's absolutely hypocritical for Monty to be offering this advice when keeping a stiff upper lip is his typical tactic, as well.]
I'm not sure you'll remember it, but I drank myself to sleep the day I discovered my Sib- Ms. Hallward had disappeared. She was my very best friend from back home. [And quite a bit more, but Monty knows his letter had been telling on that front.] We pick up and we move on, certainly, but there has to be a moment we're allowed to fall apart.
[He reaches across the table tentatively to touch his fingers to one of Joseph's arms. There's nothing particularly sensual in it, just trying to offer comfort.]
It's all right. I promise there are other people to take over for a moment. You've made certain of that with all you've done.
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Though it's never been easy for Joseph to apply the reasoning he'd use on another person for himself.
When he finally responds, it's very quietly and sounds almost like a confession.]
If I fall apart, I don't know if I'll be able to pick up again.
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No.
No, he's not trying to be calculating about this. It's just a kindness. A simple kindness from one friend to another. Turning that part of himself off is a little more challenging than Monty would have thought.]
And I'm very good at puzzles if you need someone to help put the pieces back together. What do you need right now? Not what you should need. What do you need and want? Ms. Oswald? Someone else? I can go and fetch them if I'm not the person you want to talk to. But you should be with someone, Joseph.
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[W O W, Monty. Thankfully Joseph can't read minds. And given the circumstances, he's completely off-kilter as far as his usual intuition for people and their motives. Especially Monty's.
The contact is appreciated, since Joseph hasn't gone anywhere near anyone else since it became obvious Sebastian wasn't coming back. But he's not meeting Monty's eyes, still staring at the table. Still hasn't touched his tea, either.]
I know what I should be doing. What I should be able to do. I just don't know if I'll be able to.
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Would it be easier if I told you what to do?
[He can remember Cecil taking control, Jack taking control, had helped him when he'd been a terribly tight place. But he recalls that Joseph had wanted to be in control after coming out of a desperately terrible situation before.]
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I don't know. But I'll listen.
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When was the last time you ate properly? Took a bath? Just took care of yourself? Please drink a bit of that before you answer.
[He nods toward the tea, and lets his hand stay where it is on Joseph's arm, thumb rubbing back and forth in what he hopes might be a soothing way.]
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The answer comes calmly.]
Yesterday, for both. I'm not a total mess.
[Hence the forcing himself to keep working, of course. That includes taking care of himself.]
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That's good.
[Right. There go two of his ideas to help and soothe. Soothing. Tea is soothing. What else? Monty looks down at where his hand is on Joseph. A massage? Yes. Perhaps? Touch, at least.]
Have you ever had a massage before?
[With as uptight as Joseph usually is... it's questionable.]
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[From Sebastian. He's not about to say that, though.
The hand on his arm is good, at least, just a little bit of an anchor to tether him back to a world it constantly feels like he's being dragged away from. A world that did drag Sebastian away, somehow. The most stubborn person in the universe, and he couldn't stand up to a crumbled reality.
What chance did Joseph stand, then?
Ugh. Time to push that thought away and stamp it down as hard as he can.]
Not right now, though. Thank you. I just need- another voice, I think.
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[He'll be a little surprised if it is. He would have thought a snake for a serpent like Sophia.]
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Yes. A few weeks ago. He's grown a lot since then.
I named him Rodan. I don't actually know that it's male, but we guessed, thanks to the feathers...
[The hawklike bird makes a little squawk, and shuffles around on his perch.]
He, um... he eats things. Things that we believed up. So we had to put the perch together out of real salvage, but it's at least not hard to feed him.
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Perhaps it's silly to ask, but I don't suppose he can speak? Or understand speech like the bookworms do, at least?
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Actually, yes. A little bit. He does a little mimicking. And, ah...
[He turned around slightly in his chair to face the bird, then whistles to get his attention. Then again, once the bird is looking at him.
After a few seconds, the bird chirps and lets out a shrill little "FUCK!"
Despite himself, Joseph lets out a shallow chuckle, then shakes his head.]
Can't get him to stop saying that. Sebastian...
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